Actually, who am I to you (all)?!?
I wanna know..
It seems like I the one who always doing the wrong things and saying the wrong words.
Have u all thanks me just for once what I have done for u all?
Is like, no matter what I am the one who always get scolded and glared at..
Fuck man..
I'M JUST A PASSING MESSENGER LA!!!!!!!
AND I'M DONE DOING THAT..
Fucking hate it..
Do u guys think a passing messenger is EASY to do?!?
Is not my fault also I am the one who get glare at..
Will u (all) feel well if someone glare or scold at u (all) when is not your fault?!?
If yes, u (all) come do la..
I wanna see how your expression is!!!
Like just now in the car when me and mum was on the way home..
We were in the car..
Talking about M's wedding card..
So she said M should put "my beloved uncle" on the card..
So I said we don’t know about these things..
We don’t know about those traditional things..
So we didn’t do..
Then she started to talk it loud..
Saying "Ahhh... u all don’t have manners one la (Bo Le Mau - in hokkien)..
Younger that time, no one teach u manners (Sui Han Si, Bo Lang Ka)
Ur grandma don’t want to teach (Ah Ma Em Kam Ka)
U all got no manners (Lu Lang Si Bo Lang Ka Si E)..
Is my brother don’t care about this things only (Si Ka Na Wa E Tua Hia Bo Chap Nia)..
Like my uncle, I got to write "my beloved uncle" if not i no need to be so confusing (Siang Ka Wa E "Uncle", Wa Toi Ai Xia. Na Bo Wa Toi Mian A Ni Ma Huan)..."
In my heart, I was like " WTF?!? Is my fault is it?!?
Now is whose wedding?!? Mine a?
Is none of my business okay???
Why say I "Bo Lang Ka Si"?
Bo Lang Ka Si is also your (mum) fault okay? Not only grandma..
Grandma is not my MUM!!! U ARE!!!!
When we were young, where are u all?!?
Dad don’t care, u?!? were busying working for the company..
So??? Who gonna teach us MANNERS?!?
WHERE WILL WE LEARN IT WHEN MY PARENTS DONT EVEN TEACH US?!???"
Did u or dad ever teach me anything?!? NONE!!
None of u all.. Most of the things I knew is from M..
Were u all there when I am hurt? When I am alone? When I am crying?
When I cry, u all only know how to scold me said "so big already some more crying.."
WTF? Who said grow big already cannot cry is it? Illegal is it?!?
In my brain, I did remember is.. You promise me something and u never done it.. WTF man..?
I remember a few times u said wanna bring me go out eat seafood with all the uncles, aunties and cousins after work..
Made me to wear nice nice waiting for u to coming back to fetch me..
I waited for hours, for u to come pick me.. Were u there?
I waited until u came back from the dinner..
The worst part is.. Everyone was there and I am not!!!
WTF? I am not this part of the family is it?!?
Do u all know it feels hurt..? I do have feelings.. T.T
And my dad,
One day, he told me that "U BUY UR OWN CAR WHEN U START WORKING!!!"
What do u mean by buying your own car when u start working?!?
In my heart, I was “Okay. Fine. I will. But don’t ask me to drive you..”
I know I will be soft-hearted..
Do u know u were even worse than mum..?
At least, mum DO drive me, pay for me, spending more time than u did...
Sorry.. U did not.. U were never there..
Is like never exist in my life when I am small..
U don’t know where is my tuition, when I got tuition, what time is my tuition, never spend time with me, never talk to me, never give me money to spend and never drive me(I forgive that because I know u don’t drive)..
My 1st uncle was so much better than u..
He IS my uncle, he did spend time with me, talk to me, give me money to spend..
This should be a DAD job, not UNCLE job..
I can say my 1st uncle is the best dad in the world..
I love him more than my dad.. I am sorry for that.
Cause u were never there for me..
U knows what? I am much closer to my uncle than my dad.
Dad was like a stranger to me now..
Nowadays, when I drive him out to eat, I will automatic on radio..
If not the car will be too quite.. See!!!
And I am trying to do my best for u all..
I will do what I can do..
I don’t like to be a messenger but I have too..
Cause everyone in this house call me to do things, passing message to each other when the other person were just beside them.. See la See!!!
I HATE IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGHHH...
Who can solve all these problems?!? T.T
